8 Comments

Fitzwilliam Darcy and George Knightly, proprietors of Darcy & Knightly Antiquarians (and secret private investigators for the Queen) are called in by her Majesty to team up with Holmes & Watson to stop more murders Lord Blackwood spoke of before his death. Two of the women predicted to die are Lady Emma Woodhouse, niece to the Queen; and Elizabeth Bennet, the Queen's ward. Can the gentlemen find the missing women in time and keep their wits -and hearts?

Expand full comment

Jane Fairfax gets into a barfight in Tombstone, cracking a bottle over the head of one of the Cowboys when he comes on to her, resulting in a tense, almost hostage-like situation with everyone pointing guns at everyone else. Suddenly Doc Holliday and Elinor Dashwood quietly come around the corner, leveling their rifles. The Cowboys back slowly out the swinging doors, where they are met by Colonel Brandon and Frank Churchill, who immediately tie and throw them into the back of the paddy wagon to deliver them to Wyatt Earp.

Expand full comment

Ooh! I wanna see this :D

Expand full comment

Okay so Zombieland. Colonel Brandon is Talhassee, Willoughby is Columbus, Elizabeth is Witchita, Lydia Bennet is Little Rock and Sir John Middleton is Bill Murray. Kind of mixing up the characters between books, but it's a movie right? Oh and Mr Collins are the zombies!

Expand full comment

I didn't think this would be such a hard question when I first read it but I guess it is. Here goes:

Elizabeth Bennett finds herself in a South Boston bar alongside Skylar (Minnie Driver) when an arrogant Will Hunting comes up to them trying to lay on a yarn about having twelve brothers. Lizzie rolls her eyes, sees right through his facade, and gives him a Victorian style of both barrels and forcing him to admit he is actually - as his therapist will later get him to admit - a scared sh****ss kid who knows nothing about women or the real world.

Lizzie takes Minnie Driver to a dance to find a better guy, one without attachment issues.

Expand full comment

I bet the dialogue would be witty!

Expand full comment

Am I too late?

Expand full comment

Not at all. It's open till Saturday night.

Expand full comment